Sex, latex, and birthcontrol

Enough is enough! I have to say that I have never had a more awkward conversation than the one I had last night with my mother and her sister. If one more person tells me I need to get on birthcontrol, I will beat them in the face. You think I'm kidding? Think again.

I don't understand why mothers think it's necessary to talk about sex. I mean, sure--when you're confused and twelve years old it's a good idea, but when you're twenty-three, you don't want to hear about it. I know more than enough, and I think it'll get me through just fine--I don't need to know particular members of my family found out the hard way that they have allergies to latex, and I especially don't need to know the brand of spermicide that another particular family member prefers (and how to insert them). I think at that point, I was sure I wanted to die. Death would have been preferable than sitting through that weirdness.

In fact, it would be more fun to have a cavity drilled out without anesthesia than to sit through a conversation as awkward and uncomfortable as that was. Get a hint, folks--I know I need to get on birthcontrol--bugger off.

Did I mention that I had a good friend at church come up and tell me I needed to get on bc. No more. If one more person says anything about birthcontrol, I will cuss them out or claw out their eyes--whichever I fancy at that given moment.

On a happier, less squirmish note, we are officially getting married at the church by our preacher, Roby (which is a bit weird because he's not much older than me!), we're getting married on April 5th, and we're getting married in the old auditorium, which has been converted into a lovely little chapel which will be a perfect size for our 100+ guests. My dear fiance's mother just found out tonight that we have decided on these details, which is a bit insane considering we've known the date for over a week and the place for over 4 days.

My sister, who was going to be a bridesmaid, is now a partner planner alongside my maid of honor. This should be interesting...

I've decided on pink, cream, and chocolate as my colors, and my dress will either be champagne or pearl rose. I've got my bouquet, which happens to be blue and cream/champagne, and I'll probably have a chocolate ribbon wrapped around the bottom decoratively.

We're going to have a honeymoon after all--originally I wasn't sure we'd have time since he only has 1 week of vacation, but he'll work from home and start his official vacation once we drive my car to seattle--our honeymoon will be on the road. Should be exciting! Sucks that my car is so small...and that I'll have to fit everything I want in there, but that's ok. No worries.

I'm currently considering a caterer, two photographers, bridesmaid colors and dresses, tuxes, invitations, doctor's appointment, my dress, my shoes, decorations including ribbons and flowers, reception decorations, menu, gifts, shower, and slicing my wrists...

...Oops...meant to keep that last one to myself.

This is my story

my big fat complicated wedding.